Tonight something amazing happens: Venus will transition across the sun like the moon in a solar eclipse, but smaller. It’s an event of cosmic proportions that will not occur again for over a hundred years. It makes me think of all the times we do things that won’t happen again for some time. It makes me think of all the transitions I’ve been going through lately and all the changes that just haven’t happened yet.
I know looking at the sun is discouraged, especially without the proper equipment, but today, I’m taking a peek. Perhaps I’ll make like Venus and finally transition to better things.
Memories and bravery may get us far, but both are second when the world is a bottle of chaos and you’re stuck somewhere on the inside, shaken up and shaken apart. I tend to feel like this at the end of the semester. It’s all just a messy blur of moments and meaningful if miniscule messages of all the things I’ve learned. Dizzying, stomach-churning, exhaustive. That’s the life of a modern-day full-time college student with multiple jobs, a family, and oft-forgotten hobbies.
People like to ask what I do in my spare time. I grin a bit (I swear my eyes must sparkle with mischievous light) and I ask, “What time?” Torn between studying, working, family, friends, and sleeping (as much as I’d love to go without it, physiology says I can’t), there is no time. Not until break. Or more specifically, not until the semester ends (those breaks in the middle? They’re for catching up, nor for resting, what did you think?).
Free time. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with it, but when finally I’ve remembered how to use it, well, it’s the best thing all winter. Forget holly and mistletoe. Forget eight nights and everlasting light. It’s the free time that I’m thankful for today.