I couldn’t sleep last night. I tossed and turned and rolled about, as wide awake as ever. I considered getting up to get a drink. To watch the news. To play around on a design app my sister recommended, but I vowed to be in bed, and I wanted to keep to that goal. And at long last, sometime in the middle of the night, sleep overtook me.
This morning, around six, I began breaking from these binds in small bursts, wanting to sleep more but unable to coerce my mind into crumbling. Finally at nine I jumped from my bed, opened the SCOTUS blog for livefeed of the day’s events, and began my cardio workout.
It didn’t do much, though; my heart was already racing.
I want to be in love someday. I want to be weak in the knees, come undone at the seams. The world should tremble beneath us, the skies fall as starlight pours around us. I want to be married under the open sky as birds sing and rainbows break amongst the clouds and cling to the last daylight as Anar sails into the west.
Except none of this could ever happen, and for many still it can’t happen, and it won’t happen if not for the forthcoming words of the nine judges deciding now in silence our shared fate.
I had a whole post planned out…and then I got caught up in TV and header designs and talking with friends and forgot all about it. But that’s no reason not be thankful–in fact, TVs and headers and friends are all great things to be thankful for (and I’m thankful that I’ve got the opportunity to spend my time in such ways, when I know many in this world sadly do not), but it’s something else I’d like to be thankful for today. Something that seems affects the GLBT community, but also affects all of us.