Restart (Rewind Button Malfunction)

It’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s simply the fact that I couldn’t. Well, I could, but I didn’t. Either way, point being, to tell the truth, I just didn’t make time to do it.

This past week I had an extended work load at school and I’ve been fighting off a sinus infection (it’s this unseasonable weather, I swear!). None of this changes the fact that the month just changed, and since I can’t rewind time to do over what I didn’t get done, this new month allows me to restart my self-conditioning with another set of monthly goals.

I really do say too much before getting to the point.

Goal #1: Take Care of Myself

It might seem ironic that at the end of the first month of trying to take better care of myself, I’ve gotten sick. Seems like situational irony to me. Or maybe verbal irony? Oh hell, let’s call it dramatic irony and move on, shall we? My literature teacher would be so proud right now.

January Recap: I began the month pretty strong: I exercised, meditated, and drank as much water as I should have (and probably more than that, if I think about it). The last couple weeks, though, I’ve fallen off my exercising and I failed to do my meditation and drink my two bottles of water. Is it because I started to get sick that I slipped, or did I get sick because I slipped?

February Goals: I think it’s important (and this’ll be a point I make a lot) that I’m able to meet my present goals before I move on to the next level of pursuing my ideal set of habits. Ergo, this month I will continue to work out for fifteen minutes once a week, meditate for five minutes once a week, and drink a full bottle of water twice a week.

Goal #2: Make History

What’s ironic about this is that, of all my classes this semester, I like history the least. It’s not my teacher–he’s cool–it’s the subject I can’t stomach.

January Recap: I’ve been keeping track of goal completion on a tabular spreadsheet with my goals along the y-axis with each week trailing along the x-axis. When I meet my week’s goals, I mark the box green; when I miss it, I mark it pink (what? I can’t help the color highlighters I have!). It was pretty much green in this row until this past week, when I only wrote in my journal once, and then this week, with my oncoming infection and unusually tight schedule, I didn’t write at all. However, I did catch up on my backlog of journalling (until I fell behind again), so I consider this month good progress.

February Goals: Continue to write in my journal twice a week. It might help if I aim myself to write in my journal every Wednesday and Saturday night. Hopefully it’ll help if I schedule myself more.

Goal #3: Hit the Road

Figuratively. Literally. Both?

January Recap: So this month I read a few things about the fear of driving…and I sadly found that most of it was trying to sell me stuff. Pretty sad how people with legitimate issues can only find free-market scams, right? Yeah, I thought so. Either way, I did do something, and wasn’t that the point…? I also realized that Friday afternoons my school’s parking lots are pretty empty, so if we can mutate our schedules just enough, I might be able to practice a little each week!

February Goals: I’d like to continue finding advice and whatnot online that might help me conquer this irrational fear of mine. VideoJug, YouTube–both these sites might have something to promise, I simply haven’t looked yet. (If anyone has any suggestions–online resources or books, DVDs, etc.–I’d be happy to hear them!) I’d also like to try actually driving again this month if I can. It’s about time I do, after all.

Unwritten Goals

Wait…there’s more?

January Recap: When I created the aforesaid tabular spreadsheet (is that redundant?), I added a few lines for my blogging goals, namely a weekly installment of Music Monday, Thankful Thursday, and Story Sunday (what can I say, I love my alliteration, all right?) and a monthly addition to my ABCs of GLBT series. I was doing well…at first, but of all my goals, these unwritten ones fell furthest–because, for as much as I want my blog to be consistently active this year, I know my priorities have to be in other areas first and foremost.

February Goals: The cool thing is that this month I’ve written three short stories that I didn’t post here because I wrote them for my Creative Writing class (I decided I wanted new material to review instead of reusing some of last year’s stories), so since I don’t need to write any more for that class, I’ll be able to put some time into writing here more consistently. Also, since we’re not doing the textbook exercises in class anymore now that we’ve started doing our workshops, I’ll be able use those as prompts for some of my posts. And since I’ve learned that I cannot read for hours on end, if I write a bit when I take my breaks, I should be able to write myself a little bit ahead, so if I do miss a week, I won’t fall behind in my posting!

That is, I’m trying, and I want you–my dedicated readers–to know that I haven’t forgotten you and that you all mean a lot to me, even if I may not personally know many of you.

See, I’m a work in progress. If I malfunction, please press restart.

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